The heartbreak that comes with losing a pet, no matter if by accident, a medical condition, or euthanasia, can be paralyzing. But I know from experience that memorializing them can be a way to lessen the pain and even bring joy.
As a former founder/director of an animal sanctuary for 12 years and lifelong animal lover, I've lost countless precious lives. Along the way, I've learned ways to keep their memory alive and well.
1. One of my favorites is to make a cast/impression of your pet's paw. When one of my dogs was euthanized, I was fortunate enough to have a veterinarian come to our home and carry out the procedure. He was kind enough to offer this service and to this day, I smile when I look at it.
I not only remember our sweet dog, Pongo, but also the kindness of the selfless man who thought of our pain and gave us this priceless gift.
If your vet doesn't have this kit, they are often sold in major retail stores like at Chewy.com here.
2. Plant a tree beside the grave of your sweet one. This pays off with interest since:
> You're giving back to the Earth.
> You'll be able to see the growth and realize that you're growing, too.
> You'll see the circle of life.
> And most importantly, every time you look at it, you'll be reminded of the blessing you were given for a time.
3. Create a memorial with photographs. You could make a scrapbook, have an area in your home dedicated to their images, or include them on a personal website page or blog.
4. It might take a while for you to be ready for this one, but get another pet. Maybe even a completely different kind of animal.
I know when I lose one, it takes me a few months to get over even hearing another dog bark (How is that fair?) or someone snuggling with their own. (Why can't I still cuddle with mine?)
The feelings may be nonsensical, but they're real and should be honored. But when you're ready, bring another into the fold to give them the love you still have in you to give.
5. Donate money or blankets and toys to a local rescue. They never have enough of either and what a loving way to remember your animal.
You can even give it in the name of someone else for their birthday or another holiday. I've found it's always a welcome gift.
6. Use their special blanket to be their burial covering. It's especially soothing and comforting to feel like they have something they loved with them.
Almost every animal I've lost, I've decided to do this and the relief it has given me has been palpable.
If they didn't have a favorite, use an extra snuggly one you already have. (These things don't need to make sense. They only need to help you through a traumatic time.)
7. Include a memorial/grave marker on their resting place. They now have them readily available at places like Petsmart.com here.
8. Choose a place they loved for them to be buried. We said goodbye to one of our dogs by burying them in a field by a stream. He loved running free and playing in the water. I left there filled with love and feeling a sense of purpose in my heart.
9. If you'd like to go a little deeper with your memorial, you could do what the AKC/American Kennel Club has listed in an article on their website:
"Have you ever considered getting a picture of your dog tattooed on your skin? To make it even more personal, some tattoo artists will mix your dog’s ashes into the ink."
10 Unique Ideas for Memorializing Your Dog by Jan Reisen 07-17-18
It may be a bit dramatic, but if it brings you some peace…
10. Move past your fear and pain and ask your vet if you can be present if your animal needs to be euthanized.
This is the ultimate act of service you can give to them.
I wasn't going to let the oldest dog I've ever had, Lovely, who had been my shadow and loyal companion, be alone in her final hours. I held her during the process. She breathed her last breath with the person she loved most in the world by her side.
As she slipped away peacefully, I couldn't help but think she was comforted knowing I was with her.
Other people don't need to understand why you're doing the things you're doing. No one completely understands the pain you're going through. Especially people who've never had animals and "don't get what the big deal is."
I once lost a dog who was hit by a car and I missed a week of work as I mourned.
The trauma and pain aren't in your head. They're in your heart.
But although I'm suggesting things you can do to help yourself get through the grieving process, knowing how to MOVE THROUGH IT TO THE OTHER SIDE is the most important thing you can do.
Your animal lived in the moment. So should you. I've known people who have grieved themselves sick for years after losing a pet which isn't only unhealthy mentally and emotionally, it takes its toll on physical health.
You essentially stop yourself from living and stay frozen in the moment of loss. No animal on Earth has lived that way or would want you to.
There's no official time to end grieving, but if it's been several months and you're still unable to function, you could have a problem that might be helped by talking to a professional. And there's nothing wrong or weak about that. Sometimes it's just easier to talk to someone who will listen without judgment.
Go easy on yourself when a beloved pet dies and try to remember:
A. There will be a time when it's not the only thing you think about.
B. There was nothing you could have done. As hard as it is, life ends and unfortunately with animals, it's all too soon.
C. It never helps to hold your grief in to be strong for your children or other members of the family. The better lesson is for them to see you doing something completely natural in response to the situation. You'll be setting a good example for them to take into the rest of their lives. There is a season to grieve.
D. Focus on the comfort people give you who understand the pain of losing a pet. Block everyone else out of your mind. They can't help their ignorance.
E. Memorializing your pet can do wonders to help move you through this difficult process.
F. You might always feel some pain when you see a picture or something that reminds you of your animal, I know I usually do, but the moment will pass. Sometimes memories are bittersweet.
So do what will make you feel like you're sending them to the other side with unconditional love. It's all they ever gave.
P.S. If you need blogs that will grab your customers' attention, gimme a shout! Contact me at jenflattosborn@writeawaycreations.com or here. And my tail will be wagging.